Hello everyone, we meet again with a new topic to talk about.
This chapter is a brief information about a phase of life in one of my school's friend, and believe me almost 80%-90% of people in today's generation are falling for such things, or they are actually facing this.
It is LOVE.
Let's read further to understand more.
In this era of Kalyug [Yug = Era ; Kal = Moral Decay], the world is undergoing several stages of downfall. For a better understanding, In Hindu Mythology Kalyug is the fourth and final stage of the world. In this stage, the world is in a state of moral decay.
People are unable to understand the difference between fake and genuine feelings or things. One such case is understanding the difference between Love and Affection/Lust.
The common mistake in today's time, especially made by teenagers is LOVE. They fail to understand that, what they feel is not an actual love but affection at a certain point, and the result of such mistakes is heartbreak, which takes away your trust from the rest of the world and believe me, this isn't easy to rebuild.
In this chapter, we will be talking about one such case. The example is of one of my close friends, who was unable to understand the same difference, and the end result made her weak and vulnerable to the society.
This is a story of a girl who was in 8th grade when she developed an attachment to one of her close friend, who proposes her, but she didn't know what would he be thinking of at that moment of proposing her.
Let's see:
"Soo it all started in 8th standard and I had a friend. I first met him in grade 6th, but due to some reasons, I had to leave that school. I joined a new school in grade 7th, and then a few months later, he messages me on Instagram."
"It had been months since we started talking, and he proposes to me. I was confused but I felt like, I was attached to him at that moment, so I did accept his proposal. However, things took a great turn. After being in a relationship with him for a month or two, I fell for him, attachment changed into love. But, who knew it was one-sided."
"It had been 5 months since we were in a relationship and now it felt like he was leaving me out. He used to talk to me at night and was out of sight all day long. He said he was busy. I did not want him to get bothered because of me, so I left the situation as it was."
"A few weeks later, things worsened. He started to change his way of talking, his attitude, and his time for me, everything changed, as if he was taking me for granted. He was now just pretending to be there for me. There were times when we didn't have a single conversation for weeks. The feeling that I took as "LOVE" was changing now."
"Love is a consistent passion to give, Not a meek persistent hope to receive." -Lord Krishna
"It was just a fine day, when one of my friends messaged him, as a prank that I am dating someone else. His reply was "Oh, alright. No worries." When I got to know this, I thought that he knew it was a prank and reacted funnily but to my surprise, it wasn't."
"After this reply of his, my friend decided to talk with him. What he replied shocked me. He said: "I don't love her anymore and now she is just a time pass. I never had feelings for her. She is just for timepass, I never took her seriously."
"What do you guys think? I have only her? " He adds, taking his phone out and he shows that he is in a relationship with 4 other girls."
"I was weak after this, I did end the relationship between us, but my trust was withered. I lost trust in everyone. I cried, I got weak and vulnerable. There was no reply from him, not a single text after this incident. I tried moving on but it was tough and this was not the end."
"After we broke up, his friends used to say that he wants me back, but no one cared how my heart was played with. 3 weeks later, there was news, that he committed suicide. The reasons for this step of his were clearly stated by him, but on the contrary, his friends blamed me for his suicide. "
"It became harder for me to survive in this situation. I was already in grief of losing him from my life, and then the news of him committing suicide and now his friends blaming me for this step. It was a lot for a 9th grader. I felt like it is all over for me, and this is the end."
"I started distancing myself from everyone, my parents, my friends, my relatives, everyone. My friends blame me for the same. I agreed to all this and spent days crying in my room thinking that I was the reason for his death. I lost weight, I suffered constant fevers and lost my immunity. All this happened, and it affected my studies badly."
"To divert myself, I started studying, and it benefitted me. Another thing that I realized is, what true friendship is. Every friend of mine left me, blaming me for his suicide, but 2 friends of mine, stayed with me through every ups and downs and motivated me to overcome everything and focus on myself. Even though I tried distancing myself from them, they were always there."
"All of this affected my character development and personality. Studying, helped me a lot, my marks came out better, and this made me and my parents, both happy. My personality got changed. I cared less about everything now. I realized everything is materialistic, I learned the difference between love and lust and most importantly I learned how to focus on myself."
"At last it all turned out to be beneficial for me!"
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." -Thich Nhat Hanh
1) What did this incident tell us about?
So, this is a situation that is common nowadays, among teenagers in our society. Love and Lust, are two different concepts, with different meanings but somehow, they succeed in confusing us and we are unable to understand when it is "LOVE" and when it is "LUST".
From what we read above, we can conclude the outcomes of such mistakes. It leaves us in no place. Heartbreak, losing trust, vulnerability, and other negative impacts.
However, there is a chance, of improving the conditions. It is how you perceive the outcome, how you re-assess it, and what you learn from it. In the above story, we saw how the girl was devastated by the accident and losses, and how it affected her studies in a negative way, but she didn't lose hope, she stood up against the challenges.
She focused on herself, her studies, and her future which eventually led her to success. Her academics improved, she also learned about true friendships, and she understood what was important for her, and prioritize it.
"Success is not final, Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue, that counts." -Winston S. Churchill
2) Conclusion
As we discussed in the previous Chapter, that mistakes are often viewed as negative occurrences, but they actually play a crucial role in our personal growth and development. They act as important teachers, providing us with valuable lessons and insights that we may not have otherwise gained, and as we read above, we can agree that this is true.
When we make a mistake, we are forced to reflect on our actions and consider what went wrong. [Some situations, like the one that we read about, have mistakes that tell us about certain decisions that we made and were wrong.]
This self-reflection helps us identify our weaknesses, allowing us to learn from our errors and make necessary improvements.
Furthermore, mistakes build resilience and perseverance, as we learn to bounce back from failure and continue towards our goals. Ultimately, mistakes provide valuable learning experiences that contribute to our personal and professional growth, making us wiser, stronger, and better equipped to face future challenges.
“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill
I learned a lot from this story, and I was happy to see that perceiving the outcomes of mistakes in different ways, and taking them as positive reminders, actually help us shove our path towards success.
I hope, that sharing this experience was beneficial for everyone. I would like to thank my friend for sharing this with us, so that we can also be the ones who can learn from this.
This was Chapter 2, I would like to thank you for reading this chapter. Please feel free to follow me. Chapter 3 soon.
This is Shourya, and this is my book "Opportunities in Failures" where I will be sharing some real-life experiences of different people, which will provide us with a lesson.
Thank You.
rgds
Shourya
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